My life is so charmed! It is such a pleasure in so many ways to have sex with lovers for money! It IS still work though, and it is hard to navigate the rough path through emotions and work.
When I was contacted by CrashPad I was so excited. They set me up with Siouxsie but they gave me her other name which I didn't recognize her by. So I wrote back asking who she was and requested photos. I was pleasantly surprised that I not only knew her BUT I DATE HER!
I do admit I hesitated because one of my personal rules for myself is to not date co-workers. In my day-job-life this is very helpful and important because it keeps the drama out of my 40 hour a week life. I only have my drama vicariously by movie screen while eating popcorn and cuddling a lover.
Just a little piece of information about my personal non-porn-star life: If MTV were to make a reality TV show about me it would be a whole lot of me doing functional things like working and taking super awesome circus classes, talking to my friends, lovers, and therapist directly about my emotions and needs, and doing so much fun and therapeutic art work. There would be no binge drinking at a crowded bar and surly no making out with my best friend's wife on ecstasy after fucking my ex in the bathroom.
Anyway... Does anyone want to read about my boring personal life? NO. We're here for dirty behind the scenes details!
I hesitated because I date Siouxsie. She is a sexy bombshell pin-up sweetheart how could I not date her? In order to keep drama at bay, so it is not spilling all over the place, I must keep my personal life from bleeding into my professional life. This is the reason I have a "stage name" and a "legal name", not because I care about keeping my identity "clean". For me if I don't separate my character from who I am personally I could slip into delusion and loose track of who I am. I can use "who I am" to develop my character and become a magnified version of myself, but if this magnified version becomes who I am then I will constantly be performing, constantly looking for people to watch me and see me. Nothing will be for me anymore it will all be for others to see. Just look at what happened to Britney Spears and Micheal Jackson. I'm not at all comparing myself to them because they are mainstream superstars.
All that (above) to say I believe work can be play but play should never feel like work. That's just how I see my life.
I think through this performance I learned how to balance and have fun with dating someone I work with. It's hard yet rewarding.
Last year (2009, check out my older post "I have crashed into the pad") I did a solo scene that involved me and a hand pump pumping off for your entertainment. I walked into the CrashPad expecting my Dom to be there and was pleasantly surprised with a gift from her for X-mas! The gift was her dirty panties and a high quality hand pump to get harder with.
This year I received a live one to bring in the New Year! Siouxie Q is a perfect gift. I loved bossing her into beating me up. I am such a pain top! I wish all the spanking wasn't edited out... we'll just have to make an other one to show how I can teach a bottomy little girl how to beat me up. Fucking her gorgeous tits after laying her out and opening her up like Christmas is such a great way to cum... you'll just have to watch!