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Thursday, July 29, 2010

I Want To Be Inside You

I think I do a lot of "how" writing and not any "why". I think it is unhealthy to do something and not admit the real reasons why I am doing it. So here I go, I am going to tell you all my dirty little reasons why and you're going to sit there with your wide eyes all soaking it up and love it.
Performing in porn and on the stage in burlesque and circus is a way for me to express myself artistically, it is therapy, and most of all I want attention and acceptance. I want you to see who I am and not think I am hiding. I used to hide. I want you to be inspired to express yourself honestly and openly. I want you to not hide. It has been hard for me to get to a place where I can actually be myself so I want to scream it from the rooftops. If you want to listen or join in with the rooftop screaming great and if not I hope it's not too annoying, I'll get down soon.

In burlesque I pull a feeling I feel about something deep inside (my ass. Ha ha. Joking.) me and form it into a performance. I touche on gender roles and politics and my life experiences without talking. I can tell stories without words. I tell you about myself with movement, music, props and passion and you get to see parts of me that only art can tell. Sometimes when I watch a performance I tell myself "I can do better than that", or I ask myself "why didn't they do ___?" instead of critiquing on these things publicly I DO these things publicly. If I feel jealous I search inside the dark places inside my heart and feel out WHY I feel jealous and then I perform those things. Art is therapy.

In porn I fuck the way I want to see people fucking. I move as freely as I possibly can. I communicate with my sex partners directly and use safer sex. I want you to see it is hot to talk and use gloves, condoms, and lube with your sex partners. I used to have shame about being trans and I used to have shame about sex. I used to feel scared and frustrated about talking about sex and using protection was a hassle. It took me a while to get to this place of self love and now I need to pour it out on you. I use porn as activism. I want to tell you "you don't have to be ashamed about your body and the beautiful things it can do, so let's take care of it." As a kid I didn't have proper sex education and I think most kids have this same problem. Some kids look to porn for answers. There is a lot of porn out there that is teaching kids unhealthy sexual behaviors and I feel a need to put porn out there that can represent how I think safe healthy sex can be. I am not just fucking in porn I am telling you I love my body, I love everybody, and I want YOU to love your body so you can love everybody too. It's a total yummy bonus that I get to have sex with all types of hot strangers and hot friends and hot people!!! I probably would have never gotten to fuck all these amazing people if I wasn't in porn. Yeah, I might be a horny little slut, but I am a very picky little horny slut.

I am an exhibitionist because I want attention. I don't feed on it, I don't need it to survive, but I recognize the feeling that feels LIKE I need it. It is a way for me to feel accepted. I didn't feel accepted for most of my life. I am sure you can empathize with being on the outside or feeling excluded. I felt on the outside of the outsiders, the loozer to the loozers, the freak to the freak, so I became an amoeba. I morphed into whatever I thought people wanted me to be. I lost myself. I made a lot of excuses and had a lot of shame because I neglected my feelings and needs. When I found out I was hurting myself and others by not being real and feeling feelings it was the best discovery ever, like finding a billion dollars tax free, because hurting sucks and most of it goes away when I just BE ME! Sound clee-shay I know, but it works.
I believe that all humans are taught as children to thrive on attention. We are taught what bad attention is an good attention is from parents, peers, and teachers. We learn to get attention so that we can get our needs met from our parents. If we don't get attention we feel neglected. If we don't get "good" attention we seek out "bad" attention. I believe I don't really NEED attention but I was raised to think I do.

I perform to get the feeling that I think is a need met. I feel happy when you tell me you are inspired by my work. Even if you told me you hated my art and the way I fucked I would know that I touched a wound deep inside you and that is why you feel the need to tell me you hated it, or you just don't like it. Either way I would be receiving attention. Acceptance and attention makes me feel good so I want to bounce around fluidly and put color and vivid, raunchy displays of my sex and feelings about pop culture, politics, gender roles all over the world!!! SO ENJOY ME!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Clone'd My Willy

There are a lot of toys for girls and boys but sadly not too many spacificly for tranny girls and boys. I have decided to jump on the opportunity to design and test toys that would be perfect for tranny girls and boys.

One of these toys is the Clone -a-Willy Kit. At first I thought, "damn, they should make a Clone-a-Tranny-Willy kit for boys like me..." then I realized I am good at experimenting and cusomizing things to my needs.
So I picked up a kit at , I am excited to do the dirty work and tell you all how to do it for all the tranny guys out there!

The kit comes with a tube for the mold, molding agent, and liquid silicone, and all the other little goodies to put it all together. For biological guys with bigger dicks the tube to put the molding goop in is a great fit, but for small dicks you need to cut it down to your size. You can also use a small bowl. I found it's best to have an assistant to help in the process, it's a good excuse to get some cock attention. Luckily I have a super sexy Dom to help me out, she knows just how to get me hard and is very crafty. She watched the temperature so I could concentrate place the mold correctly on my bits when it was ready. You have to make sure the temperature of the water is accurate so the mold powder bonds correctly, but don't worry about stirring it perfectly, lumps are okay.
I thrust my cock in the warm squishy white stuff a little too abrupt so the mold was a bit off, but it felt good. The kit comes with a medium size vibrator which is too big to fit most small dicks so I picked up a small Babeland Buzz vibe, it fits perfectly. Also since the mold is smaller than most guys I had a lot of molding agent and silicon left over! I would suggest having other sexy things to make molds of like a cucumber, carrot, or fingers and fists! You can also use the vibe that the kit comes with to put in the other mold you make. Make sure you let the silicone dry for 24 hours! If you don't the silicone will slouch and not hold its mold. Also when stirring the silicon don't stir bubbles into it because it will show up when it drys and it looks funny. Just "fold" the silicon mix together, don't beat the silicone.

If you have any questions write them to my e-mail
All of these one of a kind peices of my flesh are for sale!!!
So e-mail me so you can fuck a peice of puck!!!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I'm Proud to Be a Tranny

I used to not like the word pride because I was raised in a Christian family. Christians think that any feelings of self-love are dangerous, probly because the Bible is just a control mechanism, but I will delve into this more latter. What I want to talk about is real pride. I was a nerd and looked it up on
a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.
the state or feeling of being proud.
a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one's position or character; self-respect; self-esteem.
pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself: civic pride.
something that causes a person or persons to be proud: His art collection was the pride of the family.
the best of a group, class, society, etc.: This bull is the pride of the herd.
the most flourishing state or period: in the pride of adulthood.
mettle in a horse.
Literary . splendor, magnificence, or pomp.
a group of lions.
sexual desire, esp. in a female animal.
ornament or adornment.

None of that sounds dangerous to my body or anyone elses!
I used to feel "not good enough" and that I could not ever be accepted as a "real" male. I have realized that everyone feels this way, yes, everyone! Every person feels afraid of not "passing" as whatever they wish they were: People put on make up, dye their hair, pierce body parts, tattoo their skin, wear leather, buy fancy cars, go to the gym, get boob-jobs, nose-jobs, lypo suction, gastric bypass surgery, penis extensions, hair extensions, hair growth surgery, and the list goes on and on of the things that all humans do to "pass" as sexy or normal or beautiful. And if they don't pass as this idea of what is acceptable they hate themself or feel "not good enough".

I feel like I couldn't be any hotter because I am not comparing myself to an image of some guy I want to be, I am who I want to be and I have pride in myself. I might sound cocky but really it just means I do not feel any better or worse than any other animal/person on this planet.